Random Thoughts of Living

Just the Facts Ma’am Many of you may not remember Dragnet or the time all men wore hats to work but the famous quip came from that show.  Show here are my facts as of now.    I am now on hospice which is a fancy word that means no more intervention of any sort, other than comfort.  I am already wondering what morphine will be like but I think I have a ways to go before I get there.  I plan to remain at home and have a hospital bed downstairs although I am still able to climb my stairs and sleep in my own bed and hope to for as long as that is possible.  The simple fact is my body is giving out slowly ceasing to function.  It is a strange place to be and I crave more facts like what will happen when.  But I guess that is why they call it a journey.   I know the destination but not the route.  I am so grateful for all of the wonderful thoughts and prayers.  Most times that sounds like a platitude but not when you are in need of them. ...

For the better part of my career I worked around computers.  I saw the progression from bulky mammoth mainframes to the first ‘desk top’.  There were times when there were no networks between computers.  You would copy material onto some medium and walk it or mail it over to another computer.  At each step, we thought it was all pretty cool!  Who could imagine? Before too long the concept of passwords was introduced.  At first all it was for was to unlock a screen to allow open access to an entire computer.  It was nothing more than a house key and there were zero requirements on password string - other than it had to be at least 4 characters as I recall.  My first password was ‘OpenSesame’.  I thought it was clever and it made me laugh.  Of course in today’s environment it would fail nearly all password security measures.   Once networks took hold and security became more of a reality, passwords grew up.  Before the advent of ...

  LIFE STORY When I lived under the black oaks I felt I was made of leaves. When I lived by the Little Sister Pond, I dreamed I was the feather of the blue heron left on the shore; I was the pond lily, my root delicate as an artery, my face like a star, my happiness brimming. Later I was the footsteps that follow the sea. I knew the tides, I knew the ingredients of the wrack. I knew the eider, the red-throated loon with his uplifted beak and his smart eye. I felt I was the tip of the wave, the pearl of water on the eider’s glossy back. No, there’s no escaping, nor would I want to escape this outgo, this foot-loosening, this solution  to gravity and a single shape. Now I am here, later I will be there. I will be that small cloud, staring down at the water, the one that stalls, that lifts its white legs, that looks like a lamb. Mary Oliver -2012

 I was the only one of my parents 5 daughters that had a broken bone.  It was the summer of my 7 th birthday and like most kids of my generation, it was a daily ritual to play outside most of the time.  Hours were spent with my friend from across the street.  We roamed the neighborhood with certain fearlessness and viewed the series of unfenced yards as our playground (times were different then!).  At that age, my passion was swing sets.   There was never a swing that I didn’t want to jump on and pump my way to the blue sky.   Was there any easier way to feel free?   I craved that moment at the very top of the trajectory when there is that barely perceptible moment where it feels like everything stops.      Getting to that pause was what I strived for.   After that, I could rhythmically swing without boredom until the street lights came on.   This particular afternoon, my friend and I were elated to see that our neigh...

 I like to recall that I am of the first generation of secondary school girls who were encouraged to play sports, thanks to TitleIX which passed in 1972.   I remember noticing there were no girls sports in school to all the sudden having the opportunity to try out for volleyball, basketball, gymnastics, and track.  I did three of the four.  Oddly, despite of my relative height, I never learned to play basketball but that is a different story.  I was proficient at volleyball and track.  With track, I learned the life lesson that I didn't particularly like to run but having some amount of speed, I was often used as part of a relay team.  I was most enthused about hurdles because it reminded me of the childhood pastime of  jumping across the nearby creek where we would challenge each other to leap between successively wider banks. If I recall correctly, I placed in one of the rounds of city finals.    If you watch races, you will seldo...